Lost Solez da 4th

So in continuing with my "birthday month theme" I am going to add another session of Lost Solez with little gifts from all of you!

Kihei, Hawaii                                Natalie N.

Havre, Montana                                                 My G-MA!! 

Chicago, Illinois                                                  Ally

Kihei, Hawaii                                Eileen E.

Bozeman, Montana                                   Ginger Terry

*Bonus Picture

San Luis Obispo, California                      Lori Kershaw 

Thank you again for joining the Lost Solez Team! It's so fun and there are many, many more pix!!  

So please keep them coming!!  (And for those of you that "see" them and then DON'T TAKE A PICTURE but "think of me" - and no I'm not talking to ONE of you, I'm talking to ALL of you who say this to me...)  Stop fucking breaking my heart, grab your phone, get out of the car, look like an asshole who takes pictures of old-balls shoes, explain to your friend (and/or people who come over to see what the hell you are looking at) what you are doing and then send the picture to me via text or via lostsolezpix@gmail.com.

It truly makes my day/week/year.

Random Facts of the Fifth Kind

You know what you guys?  I haven't done a Random Fact blog entry since December. (Well if you don't count Boyfriend's Random Facts.)

Crazy Wack Funky. Okay.....


30. I once had my name written in Sharpie on a bathroom wall.

Okay this wasn't it - but it's Fucking Hilarious none-the-less!

In 7th-grade someone (I have a sneaking suspicion I know who did this and she may even be reading this blog - but don't worry- I ain't mad at cha!) wrote a list entitled "The Top 5 Bitches of East Middle School" and I, my dear friends, was number 3 or 4. I can't really remember but I DO remember thinking, "Well, thank Gawd I'm not number one, Bitches!!"

31. I played softball for 10 years. It is a time I think back on with really good memories. It totally shaped who I am. I played centerfield and LOVED it. Even made the All-Star team every summer, lettered my Freshman year of high school and LOVED my teammates. It's so important to be part of something bigger than you. (Thank you Mom for shoving a huge mitt on my hand and shoving me out of the car to my first practice when I was a mere 7-years-old and was wondering WTF I was supposed to be doing?!)


32. I have arranged my book shelf in rainbow colors and I totally love it! People come over and see it and think I'm crazy but it's totally great and it's totally my favorite wall of my house....

Tell me this isn't the cutest??

33. Speaking of Middle School - I used to only use Grape or Dr. Pepper Lip Smackers. This kid in my art class used to eat them, which I thought was super disgusting.

34.  Speaking of Middle School - I have the same hair comb from like, the 6th-grade, no joke.  It has gone with me on countless camping trips, life in other countries, concert festivals, relatives' houses, college, summer camps, sleep-overs, etc. How crazy is that? And I've never gotten another one because I've never had to! Ha!

35.  This song makes me want to be a song writer - which I've never given much thought to but now, after hearing this, I may have to give it a think!

Click Here To Hear

36.  I never set my alarm clock to end with a 0 or a 5. It's always at like 7:02 or 8:28.

Unacceptable.

37.  My birthday is July 18.  And I am a summer baby.  This is a fact.  But to all my Australian and New Zealand mates (I'm lookin' at you Z....) I am a winter baby.  Also, unacceptable.

Lost Solez the Third

I thought we should start my birthday month (Notice the new mustache pic in honor of July?) with a bang.

The third installment of Lost Solez!!

These are all little gifts given to me from YOU!

Paia, Hawaii                          Whitney & Loli

Hwy 15, Montana                  My Mama

La Perouse, Hawaii                            My Husband

Poli Poli, Hawaii      Chelsea & Linda
(It's right at the base of the Buddha Log!)

Missoula, Montana    Ally & Davey Ray Romance

*Bonus Picture

Missoula, Montana                  Cat & Ally 

There are many more pix from many more of you - so no worries if you don't have yours up yet - it will be!!

And seriously, it's my birthday month, so all I want from you is more lost solez!  Email me at lostsolezpix@gmail.com or just straight up text a girl!

Yay July!!

The Garden(er) is IN!!

So we got the garden in the ground last week.  It was super fun and thank Sweet Baby Jesus (that's for my girl Chelsea!!) that the sun wasn't blazing down on us for the 4 hours.

See here's the thing about gardening that I had failed to remember..... It's. Hard. Fucking. Work.

Seriously, I thought I gave my old butt a hernia digging 4 wheelbarrows worth of our compost. (Mental note: Do NOT compost coconuts as their little coconut fibers grow all willy-nilly and it's hard to break them apart.)

Now I realize why people hire illegal immigrants - I would have gladly paid $4 dollars and watched Pedro do all the work while I drank a Corona and read a book.

I'm Kidding.  (Sorta.....)

So here's the process:

Wet Newspaper

Peat Moss and Boyfriends

Barn Material
 (ie. Chicken Shit and Chicken Coop Wood Chips)

Actual Bagged Chicken Shit = Smells like SHIT

HEY - there's some HAY

Our own compost. 

Green Material (ie. Sugar Cane)

Soil

HEY - more Hay!!

Peat Moss

Then you cover it with black plastic and let that stuff bake into VEGGIE CRACK for about 6 weeks!!

We have been composting for about 2 years now and the amount of worms and cockroaches in it was INSANE! Seriously - I should be making those guys pay rent!! 

Worm Love.

But my little Gardening Sister still thought we should be spraying some microorganisms to help break all the layers down - I'm glad she had some handy.....

Microorganism Spray Love

So - it looks like it's heating up under there - we will see at the end of July how things pan out.

Until then - Corona drinking and book reading it is!

Gardening Feet = Happy Feet.

This Bud is NOT for you!

Today I got catcalled and whistled at by a car full of teenage boys. It sorta caught me off guard as I had just gotten off work and was feeling tired and hungry and I was thinking about all the shit I had to do when I got home.

And then they started whistling and being all teenage boy-y.  I'm not one of those girls that get all offended at this kind of shit - and I'm also not one of those girls that think they really mean it too. But it was fun to be reminded that I am a woman and that maybe I can still get noticed time and again..... even after 6 or 7 years of marriage. (I really can't remember and when I just asked Z - he can't remember either.... meh?! 6 or 7 whateves.)

Lesson Learned?

Catcalling Rulz!!!!

This reminded me of this one time my friend and I met at our local watering-hole one random afternoon while in college.  We had just gotten done with a day of mid-term testing and just need to DRINK A BEER!!!

So we met at like 4:00. There wasn't  many other people at the bar and we saddled up at one end and each ordered a beer.  So there we were shooting the shit, complaining about how we probably could have studied harder, when a fresh beer magically appeared in front of my friend.  She told the bartender that she hadn't ordered another beer yet and the bartender smiled and told her another person at the end of the bar wanted to buy her a beer because she was cute.

So we look at the other end of the bar and see a half-passed out drunk/homeless man and a woman with  some bad-ass tattoos, whom we had never seen before.

My friend looks at me? I don't know what's going on. And then the woman raises her beer to my friend.

Oh.

My friend kinda shrugs and thanks the lady. 

This Bud is NOT FOR YOU.....

 I look down at my almost empty beer and am COMPLETELY DEVASTATED and CONFUSED.

Let me explain:

A.  Not to toot my own horn, but in my college days, I was cute. Not like - cutest-girl-in-the-bar-cute, but like, hold-my-own-cute; so this not getting a beer bought for me thing was like, total foreign territory.

B.  I don't care if I'm not a lesbian. (And for the record I don't care who is or who isn't - it's all good in my hood!) But that woman still chose to buy my blonde-haired, big-smile, cute and bubbly friend a beer and NOT ME!!!

C.  It was like being picked last at kickball (which NEVER happened to me because I was ATHLETIC and CUTE, remember??!!)

My friend didn't even bat an eye and just drank that beer.  I pretended it didn't bother me all the while trying to figure out what was so great about HER and NOT ME???

Or doesn't get a beer from a gal at the bar.....

Now this is not one of my proud moments; jealousy and envy are distant feelings that are rare to me now that I am in my thirties (Thank Gawd.)

 I see now - 10 years later that:

A.  It's wasn't about me and it wasn't a personal reflection of who I am as a person.  I should have been stoked for my friend that someone thought she was cute and wanted to make her day a little brighter.

B.  My self-worth is not measured by beer bought for me at a danky-ass pub.  

And most of all:

C.  That lady just obviously preferred blondes.

Meh?!

A Mother F-ing G.A.R.D.E.N.

So I've decided to grow a garden.

And not a "I have some herbs in a pot so oooh come and look at my garden" kinda garden - but a mother f-in' G.A.R.D.E.N.

A mother f-ing G.A.R.D.E.N. 
(Not MY mother f-ing G.A.R.D.E.N. but S.O.O.N.!!)

I sorta have a little OCD so these perfectly straight rows make me jizz a little in my gardening gloves.

So anywho - my good friend who does gardening for a living (How cool is that? And she's just cute as a button and I love her.) came over and we ran into town to get stuff to make a "Lasagna Garden". Basically it's like 6 layers of a whole bunch of shit that you put on top of the ground and then cover it up with some black garbage bags for about 6 weeks and - WALLAH - it magically turns into veggie growing crack!!

Lasagna Garden Drug Addicts Meeting
"Hello, my name is Orange..."
"Hi Orange."

So I'm kinda excited but kinda nervous because my green thumb has never been green, more like brown.    Kinda like the color of most of my plants. They all start out so good and then end up dying on me somehow. This is a constant reminder that if I can't have a plant, than may I never have children..... Right? 


It's crazy because my mother has the greenist thumb I know!!  If there was ever a house with more oxygen than others - it was mine!!  I grew up in a jungle of plants!  (Would that make her like "Jungle Woman"?)

Maybe. But my mom's totally hotter - right Ma?  

We had big plants, small plants, ferny plants and prickly plants. We had long dangly plants that my mom would wrap around assorted house-hold things and then we had plants that grew so tall they would slowly start to lean over in this drunken-frat boy sort of way.  We had plants that would bloom flowers around Christmas time and plants that would have killed out miniature Poodle (R.I.P. Mini) if she would have eaten them. We had purple plants and red plants, plants in the kitchen and plants in the bathrooms.

And now she has all that AND a kick-ass garden plus an amazing backyard full of flowers to boot.

Here's hoping that there is some sort of green gene-thing deep rooted in me. That or if I can't grow veggies in a TROPICAL RAINFOREST than there is seriously something wrong with me.

It claims "No Digging! No Tilling! No Weeding! No Kidding!"
This better be true or Imma cut a bitch.

Lost Solez II

Hey! 

Welcome to the second installment of Lost Solez!!! (If you missed the first one click here.) 

I've been getting lots of help from my REAL friends - so to all you ELSE out there who haven't sent me anything but have seen a lost sole and didn't take action - that was meant for YOU and it was meant to HURT YOUR FEELINGS so next time you will HAVE to turn around and take the FRICKING picture because you will be thinking about how much we are friends - even if we are just blog friends - and about how much you want to be a part of this really cool project and about how cool I am and how pretty I am and about how.........

Maliko Gulch, Hawaii                                   Sam Howard

Haiku, Hawaii                         Melea M  

Hana Highway, Hawaii                     T-Dubya

Kahului, Hawaii                                    T-Dubya

Lewistown, Montana           Stacy & Tayler 

 *Bonus Picture*

Great Falls, Montana                    T-Dubya

There are plenty more where these came from. so if your lost sole isn't up here yet - not to worry - it will be!! But I would love more from all of you. My goal with this is to beg/plead/sell my soul/whore myself out to my editor to make a coffee table book..... So if you want to be a part of this awesomeness than keep your eyes peeled and take the picture!!

But let me refresh you with the rules just one more time......

#1.  You can't rig up some fake-ass picture, like throwing your old-balls shoe out the door and snapping a picture. (Where's the fun in that?) Which leads me to rule #2.

#2.  So no touching, moving, positioning, spit shining of the lost sole is allowed - you gotta take the pictures organically, as it is, some pictures are just going to be boring and some will be fantastic - this is life.
#3. If you see something really picture worthy that's not a lost sole but just as funny and random then I will accept those as well for the *Bonus Picture* portion of our program - maybe it's a sock, maybe it's a funny sign, whatever - let's keep shit spicy - this is life.

Please email me your pictures to lostsolezpix@gmail.com or send me a text if you know my phone number and your name or alias and the town/state/country they came from! 

And if this book really happens and I become a millionaire - I will fly you out to see me....... maybe...... but only if you think I'm pretty.