Monday, December 27, 2010

Random Facts: Cuatro

I haven't done one of my Random Facts posts in a long time, wherein I tell useless Random Facts about myself for the sole purpose of nothing.

24. When I was younger, I used to purposely hold our wooden mixing spoons in the kool –aid pitcher hoping to turn the spoon red or purple. It never really worked all that well, they just came out these weird pastel looking colors.

25. My teeth are supremely close together. I had braces from the age of (what age is 7th grade again?) 12 to 16. That's 4 years years of orthodontic-hell! My teeths were all sortsa jacked-up.

Seriously, this guy didn't have shit on me.

But now they look like this.

Look at them pearly whites, playa!

My orthodontist was goooood. My freakin' teeth are so freakin' close together. (Even though I didn't wear that stupid-ass retainer as long as I should have – sorry mom and dad.) But because they are so close together it’s hard for me to floss. My dental assistant lady even has a hard time flossing my teeth when I get my teeth cleaned. And because of this, I don’t floss as often as I’m sure my dental assistant lady wants me to; but its hard to get that little bit of twine in between these chompers. Trust me.

26. I have not had a dishwasher in 10 years. Wait, let me rephrase that: I HAVE HAD TO HAND WASH EVERY FUCKING DISH FOR THE PAST 10 YEARS.

27. I do not use soap or any other washy things on my face. I use warm water and then use rose or lavander witch hazel afterwards. People are always asking me what I use on my skin – not harsh-ass chemicals, friend, not harsh-ass chemicals.

28. My most favorite car I ever owned was a 1982 baby blue Volvo. And I had her for most of my college years. She was the best and affectionately named "Vulva".

Here is a picture of my vulva.

29. You can fit 12 people, comfortably, in my vulva.


  1. I remember when you bought vulva from Mar. I loved her (Marilyn, not your vulva, although that was a cool automobile).
    You gotta floss girl. Ask my dad about his dental surgeries.

  2. I prefer vulvas for their excellent safety credentials in high impact collisions.

  3. Your vulva was born the same year I was 1982 ... the year Ayn Rand died ... the year Bladerunner was released. That's a pretty significant year right there.

  4. Cat - was Mar one of your art teachers? I forgot about her?!!

    Herr ROLLESYenhausen - you are so right, my friend, so right.

    Orcofdoom! - Thanks for checking out the blog! 1982 was a very significant year, buddy. My vuvla is also very significant as well - so it seems the perfect fit! ;)