Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Ain't Nothin' but a G-Thang, Baby!

I love music.

I know a lot of people do (clearly) but I couldn't even imagine the world without it. And I love it all - a man and his guitar, Rap, Country, whatever.

My music loving really started going when my dad bought me my first CD player in the 7th grade. It was a 5 disc changer with removable spreakers, the creme de' la creme. What he failed to buy me were some CD's to go in it. (Typical male.)

Well, that's kinda not the whole truth. There was the CD, Enigma, in one of the disc holders when we opened it. Apparently the workers accidently left it after they were using monk chants mixed with some nice beats to show the quality of the sound.

(And for those of you who can't remember Enigma. Let me, ah, enlighten you.)

I'm 13 years old. I'm not about to listen to scary-ass monk chanting and some breathy woman singing/orgasm-ing in........ um, Latin?


My first ever REAL CD was........... wait for it............................

Snoop Doggy Dog's Doggystlye.

I'm serious.

And I can still, to this day, rap EVERY SINGLE song.

Please note the Parental Advisory sticker on the bottom left-hand. I'm going to have to go ahead and attribute my potty mouth to this CD. But wait, how did I acquire this soundtrack when the purchaser had to be 18 years or older, you ask?

My grandmother.

I'm serious.

My grandma bought me THIS!!!! (Please listen to the link until my favorite part at 1:38, wherein Snoop so eloquently states, "You's a flake, and I'm the big dog. I scratch you off my balls with my mother fuckin' paws.") Genius.

But the best part is when we went to the music store to actually get the CD. It was the day after Christmas, the place is a frickin' mad house and she asks the super-hot-teenage-boy worker this.....

"Um, yeah, can I have the Snoopy Dog Dog record?"



I was dying, dyyyy------innnnng, you guys.

I mean, I was 13 years old. Everything and Everyone already normally embarrassed me and then this????

I'm surprised I didn't melt into the floor of that music store right then.

But when we went back to her house and she asked me to play her a song I played her this.

Paybacks are a "mother fuckin' bitch. Ya better aks somebody."

P.S. I'm so so sorry G-ma. I was a wretched little punk 13 year-old. But thanks again for this CD, as it has made me the gangsta that I am today.


  1. Gurrrl...This is for the G's and this is for the hustla's (add syncronized hand movements here)JAWS.JAWS.JAWS!

  2. "When I met you last night baybay....before you opened up your gap..." This was my first CD as well, although my parents made me return it. I was a sheltered little thing.