Monday, October 1, 2012

Snoop Lion Sucks

Where to begin? Where to EVEN begin?

You all know my (ex)beloved Snoop Dogg done up and changed his name to Snoop Lion, right?

Ahhhh - Yep.?!

Apparently he went to Jamaica, smoked way too much Jamaican dizzy-dank, had some sort of religious/spiritual epiphany that opened his "3rd Eye" and he saw that he is "Bob Marley reincarnated" and then some Rastafarian priests renamed him Snoop Lion and now he's making reggae.

Ahhhh - Okay.?!

Ahem. First of all Snoop LION (I just puked in my mouth) your "3rd eye" needs some Visine, gangsta. I'm all about reincarnation and spiritual journeys and what-not but I'm pretty fucking sure Bob Marley died May 11, 1981 and you were born October 20, 1971. Call me crazy but I don't think you can reincarnate into someone when YOU WERE ALREADY BORN BEFORE THEY EVEN DIED!!!

Thank You.

Secondly, Mr. Lion (gag)  I can kinda, sorta, maybe a little bit, understand the whole re-naming thing, especially since it was from a spiritual someone (but even then it's pushing my tolerant levels) BUT C'MON you can have ONE name change per lifetime. Please don't Puff Daddy all over yourself, you look stupid and confused and I am annoyed.

Fo real.

Thirdly, dude. I read in an article that you wanted to make music kids and grandparents can listen to. But grandparents do listen to your music!!! And who cares? You are a lyrical genius. You are the Dogfather! You are a rapper, you got swag and flow and bitches and gin and juice! What about your loyal fans? What about your dog pack, yo?!!

You guys, my heart is broken. I have loved this man longer than I have loved my husband. I really feel like he may have had a part of making me who I am today.....well he's the reason why I can rap so well, at the very least!!

I don't know. I mean I'm glad he's getting into his whole "life path journey thing" and I'm stoked he's found some renewed musical energy. I do love me some reggae. BUT I feel a little let down by my homie.

I'm sad and confused and whenever he comes on my iPod - RAPPING, like he should be -I get a little teary.

But on an up note - I managed to use "Puff Daddy" as a verb and that makes me feel awesome. So thank you for that at least, Snoop Stupid-Head Lion.

Make it stop, you guys. Make. It. Stop.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

3 Month Hiatus? Dunzo!

Holy shit you guys!

I can't believe I haven't written anything in 3 months! I mean - I knew it was a little long because my mother kept saying to me, "Every day I look at your blog and nothing. I'm just going to erase if from my favorites list." (No you ain't, lady - you love me.)

Isn't it truly amazing how fast time flies? I am NOT 100% convinced time isn't going faster and scientists, in fact, KNOW this is happening and haven't told us because of some conspiracy theory
brew-haha..... but then again - maybe not and I am batshit cray-cray.

Okay - how to wrap up 3 months of my life?

Bullet Points and Pictures cool with you? Great.

*  My 6-week time off the rock? AMAZEBALLS. California - you are a gem. We will meet again. and I can not wait!!

Capitola Love

SF Tourist Shot!

Russian River Nector of the Gods

Canoe Cuties


Vacation Breakfasts are the best.

Alcatraz = SO SO SO COOL!!

Vacation Lunches are the best.

* But you still ain't got NOTHIN' on my MONTANA!!!

M to the T

Growler Coozies and Continental Divides go hand & hand.

Brokeback Mountain 2

Montana Masquerade.

Grizzly Sightings

Bull Riding

Float Trips



White Trash Cooler

Road Trippin'

Brewery Lovin'

Scrabble Kick-Assin'
Real Grizzly Sightings

* Then I came home and worked my ass off for the whole month of August. It got so bad I was even dreaming about work. I just hate when that happens - then it feels like you really NEVER left. Ugh. Good thing I am surrounded by beauty, flowers and good food!!

* We done bought ourselves a King Size bed. WHAT the F have Z and I been doing these past (almost) 10 (gasp!) years???? Sleeping on a measly-ass Queen size bed?  Fools. We were fools. And if you have a partner and you are sleeping on a Queen and/or Full size bed - you are a fool too. Don't hate - it's the truth.

All Hail the KING!!!!!!!!!!

* Z scored a pellet gun for $5 at a garage sale. I wasn't happy about it but you know, he's a grown-ass man, I can't tell him what to do all the time. So the other day I tried it out.      I'm obsessed.     Which is so unlike me, you know, guns and whatnot, remember? 

Bullseye, Suckas!!

So that's the haps on the craps around these parts.

I will be back. Stay Tuned.......there will be a lost solez orgy, my broken-hearted thoughts on Snoop Lion (WTF?? Barf!!!) etc etc etc because........

You're welcome, Mom! 

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Off Like A Prom Dress

Z and I are off on a little adventure!

10 days in San Francisco and surrounding areas (Pacifica, SONOMA!!) and then to Montana!

I'm really looking forward to seeing California. I've really never hung out there - and neither has Z - I feel like we are the only ones in the whole world that haven't been to the sunshine state (Except for airports.)

Annnnnnd that's about all I know about CA.

I also know that I am super jacked to go to Sonoma County - and my mom and step-dad are coming to meet us there!! Wine AND mi mama?? What more could I ask for??

And we are going to a Giants baseball game - something I also have not ever done - gone to a professional baseball game.  (Even after playing softball for a decade of my life!) 

I'll probably be wearing these.

THEN a couple of my two favorite friends are coming to visit us in Montana for some good ole' country shenanigans!!  I am beyond excited to show them my beloved MT!!

And then to top it all off - my bestest most bestest friend is coming to Montana too!

So - I am super stoked and ready to get off the rock for a little bit!!


Hopefully I will be seeing a lot of you very soon!

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Your Fro-Yo is Showing

Yesterday I went to the mall with my friend R.

I will be heading off to San Francisco in early June and own exactly one sweater. Which will simply NOT due for 10 days. I thought I would see what I could find on the sale racks and off we went.

While shopping she asked me if I wanted to get some Frozen Yogurt. I am not really a fan of ice cream but I will get down on some fro-yo every now and again.

Not to be confused with FRO-NO!!

I haven't actually been to any frozen yogurt places in like 10 years so imagine my child-like enthusiasm when I saw all of this!!

So. Many. Options.

So. Many. Toppings.

Seriously? Seriously?
What have I been missing, you guys???? Are Z and I the only ones that haven't gotten the Fro-Yo Memo??


So I was a little overwhelmed but decided on Coconut Yogurt and went from there.

I was severely overwhelmed by the topping choices and R is a purest and chooses to eat her frozen yogurt plain.

I know, right?
So she was no help. (But I still luv her!) I chose graham cracker crust sprinkles and a hit of mini chocolate chips. 

Nothing too crazy.

But then I began thinking about all the options one could pile on top. Let's be real - the bowls they give you are huge and you know some people load that shit up!

I had this urge to stand at the cash register and take a bite of everyones dishes as they were paying.

But I'm not a fan of a thousand flavors at one time - so I would have to pass on every taste-test with the teenagers.


Double Yuck.

I think one's fro-yo says a lot about someone.

I would NEVER put candy and fruit together! Nor would I put anything gummy in there because it gets all cold and sticks to your teeth.

Z would probably put mostly all fruit in his  - pineapple, lychee and kiwis or some other combo and then put a sprinkling of gummy bears on top.  Blah.

I think my mom would just get a chocolate almond mocha frozen yogurt and sprinkle oreo on top. She's like me - a little crazy but not too crazy.

My G-ma would probably be like the above pictures - she'd be all in!! Cause she all sortsa cray cray! Just like my BFF! Al would put mini M &Ms, gummy bears, little pieces of cake and top that shit off with some sprinkles - which is why I love both of them so.

They should make fortune cookie sayings for frozen yogurt cups.

No toppings: You are a purest and have great self-control. Maybe you should loosen up, get a little crazy and throw some chocolate sauce on that bitch.
Some toppings: You know what you like and are very reliable. Maybe you should stop being a control-freak and think outside the box.
Most or All the toppings: You live life like it's your last day. Maybe you should grow up and not eat all that nasty shit in one sitting.

I'm totally kidding.  I LOVE my man and R and my G-ma and my BFF and DO NOT judge them on how they eat their Frozen Yogurt. 

Nor would I with you guys.

So I want to know your favorite combos. Cause I'm the "Some Toppings" and need to "Think Outside the Box". ;)  

Care to Share??

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

I's an Add-ult.

So there has been a lot of things happening lately.

A lot of things that have me feeling like an adult.

Yes - I know I am technically an adult but because we don't have kids (the thought still makes me wince a little) nor do we own a home (yeah - because house prices in Hawaii are Super De-Duper Affordable right now, er ever, er never) then there really are few things that make me feel like a real-life adult.

Like being married should make me feel like an adult but I've been with Z for almost 10 years - I can't even remember what it was like to not be half of our whole.

So marriage doesn't really count.

I do drive a nice-ish car. But it's not paid for by any means.

Ax that too.

I do love a glass of wine on a pretty regular basis.

True Dat.
This clearly makes me an adult.

Also I recently purchased these: they all scream ADULT! ADULT! YOU'RE OFFICIALLY AN ADULT! to me.

Le Creuset Lovin'!

I've wanted me some Le Creuset for a long time now. I would look at the Williams Sonoma catalog like a porn addict looks at Penthouse - dreaming to caress one of these babies, to get her all hot and eat from her...(Wait - too much? Sorry.)

Anyways, I got an email from my friends at Williams Sonoma about a Mother's Day Special where she was 40% off plus free shipping and I treated me to one - I figured I was a mom to Boyfriend and that counts, no? She's so pretty that I have been keeping her on the counter because I can't bare the thought of her in our danky cupboards with the rest of our riff raft pots and pans, not to mention cockroaches and spiders. No way -  not my precious girl!

My friend named her Le Creuset - I think we should name ours too. Maybe Precious. 

Or maybe not.

I've also purchased these items.

Real Leather, ya'll!!

Yes - this is my first REAL adult leather purse that I paid some bucks for. I'm not a Coach or Louis Vuitton kinda gal - but I feel like a grown-up with this purse. And the wallet. I usually just carry a fabric clutch with my ID and Debit Card thrown in (or better yet when I was in college and smoked cigarettes (ewe!) i used to just put my ID and cash in the cellophane wrapping of the cigi box - man I was classy!) but as I'm getting older I have business cards and Z's business cards and stamp cards and whatever that I need handy. Isn't this a sure sign of adult hood, you guys?

Which leads me to the ULTIMATE in adult-hood purchases........the mama jamma..... the creme de la creme.....nothing screams adult like this!!!

Ta Da!!
My very own laptop...... FOR WORK!!!! That's the adult part - that last part - FOR WORK!!!! I am now social-media-coordinating for 3 local businesses and it was a pain having my work photos in with our regular photos. Plus everyone always goes on and on about how great it is to work from home - and IT IS BUT it's also great to work from a coffee shop or outside (Which is where I am right now, in a bikini, getting my tan & blog on!) without those dirty dishes and laundry and un-walked Boyfriends staring at you in the face!

Plus - I will be off-island for 6 weeks (more on that later) so this way I can still a Grown-Up.....whilst away from home!!