Thursday, March 31, 2011

Fun Stuffs (The Third)

I wanted to let you know that my mustache affinity has not wavered. (Remember when it seemed I could not write a blog without mentioning a mustache and/or Snoop Dogg? )

Here are a few Fun Stuffs that I have made, bought, gotten either as gifts or given as gifts...... because what's my motto about mustaches? "Never. Not. Funny."

That's right.

Feeling the Christmas Cheer - in style.
Here are some mugs I made for my ladies and my mustache necklace handmade by the middle lady. Her and the other beauty on the left (as well as another fabulous friend) own this shop. Check it out!!

Have you seen anything cuter??

This is my favorite bathroom accessory. Although these are those annoying hand towels that one must never use, just look at. The danky, non-cute  hand towel to dry one's hands with is hanging by the sink. (Just FYI incase you have to take a deuce at mi casa. Okay?)

Pure Awesomeness.
I totally made this. Okay, lie. I totally sanded this and painted it and the nails.  Z actually cut it out. But I do have to say it's probably the coolest necklace holder on this island. Duh.

The best.
This is my wallet and if I had a dollar for everyone who wanted to see it, I could afford a nicer wallet. (Just Kidding.) But it tis true. Man, I love this.

Wait,  it does get cuter than non-usable yellow hand towels.
My friend is about to have a baby girl and I can not wait to see Miss L in this onesie. UGH I LOVE IT!

Fo' Real.
I got this for my husband on Valentine's Day and he read it out loud like this,"We go together like mustaches and crepes." He read creeps like crepes  - the things French people eat that are like pancakes but not like pancakes? So he totally didn't get it. 
What a creep.  

Rainbow Staches!!
Truth be told - I probably have only used the top three since I am so lazy.... poor purple Texas-stache!

So there is your Mustachio Fix for awhile!!  

A bit excessive? Maybe. 

Always funny? For sure.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Not So Tiny Dancer

If you are a follower (You are a follower right? If you are reading this and you haven't signed up to be a follower then how else is a girl to get PAID to write these beauties??? HMMMM??? Just go ahead and scroll down the page to the place where there are peoples' pretty pictures and hit the follow button for me! You don't even have to use your real name!!)(Thank you.) then you are well aware I went to the University of Montana in Missoula for college.  It really is a special place.

Oh, how I love Spring in Montana

Winter? Um, not so much.
Anyway - I lived in the dorms my freshman year, which was mandatory. But it was the best!  I made and still have some good friends from that time. And living in a dorm with 300 other people was actually really fun when you're 18! I loved it! We had nice big rooms and cable TV. (Not that there was much time for TV watching, you know with all the drinking, smoking, making out,  studying we did.)

The dorm I lived in was co-ed and the girls lived on the top 2 floors and the guys lived on the bottom 2. We slept on bunk beds and I was on the top bunk, which I didn't mind, normally....

One night my roommate and I were sleeping (Speaking of my college roommate! What's up, C? She's got a great little blog under my "Blogs I'm Kinda In Love With" spot - called Golden Pigeon - you should check her out!) 

Where was I? Oh yeah, one night my roommate and I were sleeping and I hear these noises right above my head. (Not Those kinds of noises, you pervs!) It sounded like someone was doing construction! But it was like 3:30 in the morning!? It woke me up and then I heard my roomie stirring and we were both like WTF? 

The sounds were RIGHT OVER MY HEAD! Like inches away from my face (Remember I was on the top bunk?)

So I grouchily get up and walk up the stairs - it's soooooo quite in our dorm, except from this one room right above us - and I knock on the door and this kinda bigger girl in a tutu answers.

This is pretty close.....I ain't even playin'

I was so shocked that  I wasn't even mad anymore! I was like, "What in the hell are you doing?"
She told me she was "practicing her tap dancing." Like this was the most normal thing to be doing in the middle of the a tight ass tutu........inside a dorm room.  I promise you this girl was no tap dancer! First of all she's wearing a fucking tutu.  Ballerinas wear tutus, girlfriend. And she was wearing a rainbow feather boa, which I'm pretty sure isn't a tap dancing prop. Maybe a top hat and a cane but a feather boa? Come on!? 

She then told me she had insomnia. 

An overweight- tutu-wearing-feather-boa-rocking-tap-dancing-insomniac? Living and dancing right above my head?

Oh, Hell-Naw!!!!!

So I told her I normally sleep like a baby and I let her know my face was like 6 inches from her tap, tap, tappin'. I also suggested she go to the Health Center and talk to someone about her problem and that they make medication for conditions such as hers. (You know the sleeping thing, not the tutu/feather boa wearing thing.)

I remember going back into the room and I was laughing so hard I couldn't even tell my roommate what I had just seen!


P.S. She must have taken my advice because she never woke us up again!

Thank god.

Friday, March 18, 2011

Random Facts: Boyfriend Style

Wait - you are thinking? 
Am I at "Pretty Little Word Vomit??" 
Yes - you are and thank you for noticing the new "do" - it took me like 2 hours to figure this out. I had to go with a new template that wouldn't let me have an obnoxious pink background but I tried to throw in as much obnoxious pink elsewhere  so you wouldn't get too nervous about the change.

You're Welcome.

Now where were we?  
You know who I haven't mentioned a whole, whole lot on this blog? And I LOVE him a whole, whole lot?? So it's a whole, whole lot weird???

My Boyfriend. 

Geez Boyfriend. Stop sucking up already - I'll totally mention you in my blog.
So here for a  guest appearance in my Random Facts is Boyfriend - Jack Russell Terrorist Extraordinaire!

1.  Boyfriend is a Harness-Hater.  He has to wear aforementioned harness because he gags himself incessantly when we go on our daily walks.  It's nothing crazy, just a run-of-the-mill red harness, but he hates it non-the-less.   You'd think he'd just get used to putting it on but the little shit head tries to run away EVERY MORNING when we try to put it on him.  I know this little behavior would put Ceaser Millan in a tail spin.

Um, no. Up YOURS, Ceaser Millan, Boyfriend IS the pack leader and that's just about that.

2.  Boyfriend's favorite food is a banana.  Homeboy can HEAR, note I said HEAR, us peel a banana from across the house while he is mid-nap in a whole different room.  It's eerie. 

3.  While were on the subject, B also likes the cats' food, or "kitty-krack" as we call it. (Now, we don't actually own cats but our landlords do and as part of our rent we feed these cats when they are away. These are "my" first cats and I must admit they're pretty cool.) But they eat the nastiest food from Costco while we pay $58 dollas for a small bag of organic, no-corn-filler-added, your-mom-researched-hours-on-the-Internet-and-this-is-the-best-of-the-best dog chow for Mr Man. And he still runs out to the cat food dishes every chance.  Thankless Punk.

4.  My Boyfriend INSISTS on sleeping right in between my husband and me in the bed.  

5.  I named my very first dog Oprah.  She was a black Shar Pei and was so fat and wrinkly that she snored. Her snoring was so loud, my mom and I had to give her back to the breeder. (I know this fun dog factoid is about me  - but it's my blog, dammit!!)

Fine B.  It's all about you. I forgot, Pack Leader.
6.  Boyfriend is a friend to timeout.  He takes these timeouts like a champ in the extra bedroom.  Everyone who comes over is truly amazed that when he's acting a fool and I warn him with the word "timeout" he usually A. Quits being crazy. or B.  Heads right in the extra bedroom when I say the word again.  (Timeout has been quite effective. JRTs are scary smart.) He will stay there until we think he gets the point. Although there has been the odd time when we will forget about him and like an hour later I will ask Z where the dog is. Nice, mommy, reallllll nice.

7.  Boyfriend was so so cute when he was little. I mean he's still cute now but ahhhhhhhhhh.....looooooookkkkkk.

Did you purchase your tickets to the Cute Show?
8.  One rainy day I was baking banana bread and I came into the kitchen to find this. Sometimes Mr. Man has no shame.

What? Gawd?! IDK who pee-peed??
9.  I think Boyfriend is more excited to see his dad get home than when I come home.  I'm boring and only take him on 45 minute walks. His dad THROWS THE BALL outside for like 20 minutes. Gee.  Big winner. But alas, I think B loves Z more than me. 

So there you have it. Boyfriend and all his glory.  We just love him.  He's the best Boyfriend we could ever ask for.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Quotes & Funnies

Oh Hi!

Yup - It's me. I have a second to write - I have literally not been at my house but to sleep and shower since last Friday. But life is good and I'm working when the work is comin'....

You know 13 hours on Monday,11 hours Tuesday and 13 hours on biggie.


First of all I have to share with you this "G-ma Quote." You know my G-ma. The one who bought me my first Snoop CD and who had a whole entire room dedicated to Clowns.

The one on the left with the wonky fu-man-chu...

Well, we had a second to catch up on the phone today and she was telling me some story about her friend named Evelyn. "Who's Evelyn?" I asked. "Oh you know Evelyn," my grandmother replied. "Sometimes she wears her teeth, sometimes she doesn't."

"Oh hey, Evelyn. What's up?"

Who describes someone like this? Or worse yet. Who gets described like this?

I think I want to be BOTH of these when I grow up.... I'm serious.....

While were on the subject of funny things, I recently came across these (on this great website called and I really liked them:

Dear Fork,
I understand that we haven't spoken since I ran away
with the dish, but I thought you should now that you
have a son. His name is Spork. He has your hair.

And this one:

Dear People of the World,
I don't mean to sound slutty, but please use me
whenever you want.

(Hahaha!!! And you know my thoughts on grammar and all things like it because of my degree.)

Who writes these things?

I want to be like them when I grow up....I'm serious....

* There are a lot of links on this post. Ya'll know that whenever you see something purple that you can click on it and it will take you to whatever else is pertinent to whatever I am word vomiting about.... right?.... G-ma?.... I'ma talking to you.....