My 'Scripts Don't Lie

I recently sent for my college transcripts because one of the many, many jobs I've applied for asked to see them. Apparently they think my dashing resume is all a lie and alas, I did not graduate with the ever elusive Bachelor's Degree in Journalism from the elite University of Montana. (Gimmie a break! If I were to lie about such things - see old blog about how good a liar I am - I would be Cumma Sum Laude from an ivy league school and maybe I would even throw Homecoming Queen up in the mix for good measure.)

Anyway, I got these transcripts in the mail today and keep in mind I couldn't tell you half of the things I studied at university. (I can, on the other hand, still tell you which bars have all you can drink nights for $5.)

Well if this little piece of paper could talk to me it would be screaming, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING????? YOU NEED TO WRITE, WRITE, WRITE and maybe continue with the jazz dance."

I Want To Be A Writer.

There I said it, transcript, now get off my back!

Let me further explain or shall I say let me give you a rundown of my undergraduate highs (pun intended, sorry mom) and lows.

All the A's

Composition (writing), Introduction to Native American Studies, Jazz Dance (that's right), Composition II (writing), Human Sexuality (you know it!), Visual Anthropology (writing), Music Appreciation (duh), Political Ethics, Billiards (I got second place in that class!), Introduction to Mass Media (writing), Native American Health and Healing, History of America in the 20th Century (huh?), Spanish (muy bueno), Opinion Writing (hmmm...shocker but again, writing), Magazine Article Writing (writing), Multicultural and Diversity in Journalism (writing), Independent Study (wrote about Native Americans in Film), Media Impact on Sports (writing).

The C's (Not to prove anything - just for shits and giggles!)

Introduction to Psychology (everyone took this class because psychology is so cool and hip when you don't know what you want to do in your life! It's also hard and there is a ton of reading!), Biology 101 (YAWN), European Civilization: The Birth of Europe (Double YAWN!!), Probability & Linear Math (I could have told you that the probability of me passing this class was slim to shit), International Relations (Fuck that, I married a guy from New Zealand - that should be bumped up to a B immediately!!)

There were many B's as well. No D's, although I did get a No-Pass from the aerobics class I failed to go to that was taught by this stupid sorority-girl instructor. (No Offense, Nicole!) A No-Pass?? Screw that obnoxious skinny no-pass giving bitchy bitch.

I guess looking at these transcripts just spoke clearly to me. I need to get with it and do what I obviously love doing - writing.......with jazz hands....... in Spanish!?