Thursday, August 19, 2010

Reality TV Bites

So before I get into my month-long love affair I just had with my beloved Montana; I have to talk about the tid-bits of time I got to just sit and watch some TV.

Now this is kinda a big deal because I don't often just sit and watch TV at my own house because there are a kajillion other things that need to be done.

Not to mention I had an epiphany around this time last year and sold our huge ass flat screen exclaiming, "No one who makes any difference in the world
sits around and watches TV!!" My husband went along with my episode (pun intended) and just watched as his TV got hauled away.

*Side Note: I realize he is kinda awesome and also a catch and a keeper (and apparently a rainbow trout)...... but he's from New Zealand so it wasn't like he was watching football on the damn thing with his buddies while they stuck their hands down their pants and burped the alphabet.

I digress.

We didn't have TV for a solid 9 months until I cracked my shit (again) and wanted to watch movies on something other than this computer that's in our little computer room while sitting on this uncomfortable computer chair, which to be honest is just a normal kitchen table chair. So I got on Craigslist and found a huge old TV for $20 bucks.

But again, I digress.

While on vacation I got an hour or two of down time and watched some "Reality TV."

Like this little gem. 19 Kids and Counting.

As an only child, this shit is scary yo'.

About the life and fun times of the Dugger family that have 19 kids (and apparently still counting.....which means like MORE??) and then some of those kids have kids.......... yikes!! They are religious (obviously) so the girls have to wear dresses (Cause the Bible says that???) don't cut their hair (Cause the Bible says that?) And apparently mama and papa have no concept of contraception.

Don't get me wrong I could not care-less about what people wear or what they choose to believe. You wanna wear ice skates and a clown nose to school? By all means. You wanna think that JC will not like you because you done wore a pair of $150 dolla jeans that made your ass look fabulous? That's your gig.

But let's get a grip people.

The dad, I think his name is Jim-Bob (Yeah you read that right.) needs to take a fucking cold shower and stop making an honest woman out of his wife. Seriously. She has born 19 kids!!! If she doesn't stop with the calving she's going to have to straight pick her uterus up off the ground and push it back in threw her vajayjay (Yeah you read that right.) And his wife, I mean it's your body sister but the words I think you should start to use a lot more are "no" and "headache".

And what about the mind-numbing Jersey Shore??

Hell to the NO!!!

I'm sorry MTV but ARE YOU SERIOUS?????? That show made me want to adjust the color on my TV screen from all the bad fake tanning and those people are so stupid they made me puke in my mouth a little. What bullshit show is this??

Dear MTV & Dugger Family,

Stop. Please just stop.


P.S. Fist Pumps for Jesus.

1 comment:

  1. I am so glad I stumbled across your blog on FB! What a hoot! You crack me up!