I Dream of B.S.

So one of my friend's just wrote on Facebook how she had this dream and a Britney Spears song was in it and how it was really fun.

This led me to remember that I had a dream about Britney Spears once myself.

No it wasn't like that, fellas.....sorry.

The bitch shot me....

PUT THE GUN DOWN, BRITNEY! AGHHHH!!!!

Wait - let me start from the beginning.....

So me and Britt Britt were cruising around the town I grew up in in Montana in her black Escalade. I don't know why we were there, why we were homies or why I knew it was a black Escalade - that's just the way dreams work. So anyways, we are cruising around and I'm thinking to myself, "Huh, this girl isn't as bat shit crazy as the media makes her out to be. I'm actually having a good time!"And then I remember sorta feeling sorry for her like we can all be misunderstood, you know?

And then it starts snowing really bad and then there is like 2 feet of snow on the ground and it's really dark out and I tell Miss Spears that maybe I should drive because it doesn't snow much in California. (Again, I don't know HOW my subconscious know that Britney Spears lives in sunny CA, but whatever.) So she kinda gets pissed and starts driving faster. The huge car starts doing 360s in the street and right in front of one of my best girlfriend's houses we slam into a car parked on the side of the road. I'm yelling at Britney like she's crazy (hahaha) and then I go to get out of the car like,

"F-this wack-a-doodle, I'm out!!! Deuces - crazy pants."

And then she totally SHOOTS ME! Right in the back. Like, I can feel the hot bullet burn into my back and the warm blood run down my skin. (Too much? Sorry.)

And I think,"Oh, my God! Britney Spears just fucking shot me!"

And then I woke up.

Seriously. WTF?!?!

I mean, you can't make this stuff up, people.

I thought I would consult an on-line dream dictionary. Let's see what they have to say.

I will look up a few key words. (All this is taken from thecuriousdreamer.com.)

Celebrity: Dreaming that you are talking to a celebrity or that you are friends with a celebrity can mean that your subconscious mind considers that person a friend because you "interact" with them often, or like to "interact" with them by watching them in the media. 

Um, not so much.

Snow:  The idea of covering up, blanketing, hiding or obscuring what lies beneath.

I write a blog about brazilian waxing, my weird mustache fetish and my weird ass dreams about B.Spears. Again, not so much.

Being Shot: or someone who wants to shoot you can represent feelings or fear of attack, persecution, judgment, or other hostility in your life.

A bullet wound—or having been shot already—can represent feeling victimized, wounded, or taken advantage of physically, emotionally, or mentally in your life.

Well, I can't name something in particular but hasn't every one felt this at one point or another?

 Well that was dumb.

 I probably just ate something weird or maybe I'm just crazy.

Let's be BFFs in real life, K??!!!!