Monday, June 28, 2010

Girly Things.

Yeah I’m just gonna go ahead and go here.

I’m a waxer.

No, I don’t work at a car wash. No, I’m not a janitor. No, I'm not the Karate Kid; nor am I an esthetician. (Look it up.)

I mean, I am the one getting waxed. And we ain’t talking about my face people. I do not have facial hair, but I do have many, many bikinis. I am in a bikini pretty much every day of my life. (And just in case you are new to this blog, I am not a Sports Illustrated model, I happen to live in Hawaii and be the proud renter of this pool.)

I also enjoy swimming in the much, much larger pool off in the distance as well.

So, I get waxed, you know, down there. It’s just a little piece of mind knowing that I don’t have to worry that I am not unintentionally announcing to everyone that yes, I have indeed reached puberty.

Don’t worry, this is not going to be an instant replay about my last waxing appointment in which my lovely (really, truly, she’s pretty great) waxer yanked out my curly-Q’s while I thought in my head “Owshitmotherfuckerdonkeyballswhore!!!!” Or how we talk about her twins and their cute little antics all the while my hoo-hoo is in plain view. I’m not even going to mention how fucking awkward it is when she waxes er,…….me bum.

My point is……….........

For some weird reason I have started to paint my fingernails. (Stay with me.)

This may not seem odd but it is something I have never, in my almost 30 (gasp!) years of having fingernails, done.

And I got the clear bottom coat and clear top coat to put on as well. (If I'm gonna do something wild & crazy your G.D. right I am gonna do it real good and proper. RESPECT.)

My mom had really nice finger nails while I was growing up. Well, she still does but I'm not sure she gets them done professionally anymore. But when she was they were always soooooo pretty. I used to be excited to see what color she had on after she went and got her nails "did".

So maybe it's just genetics but I'm really excited about all the color possibilities that nail polishes have to offer!!

Such as grey. On a hot hot husband.

Although I'm pretty sure my mom never rocked the grey nails.

Or lavender. On a cute cute Boyfriend.

You see, on my last waxing appointment I was a little early (Because who isn't super excited about waxing your most sensitive body part??) and I had me a look-see around the joint. I stumbled upon their ridiculously huge nail polish section.

And I thought - well why the hell not? I may look like I am 6 years old "down there" but I now look all grown -up and rock-starish "up here"!


  1. Just some bloke, def not RollsyJune 28, 2010 at 12:14 PM

    Last time I got my back-crack-n-sack done, I too opted for fancy nails.

  2. Oh, Hi Mr. Just some bloke, def not Rollsy!

    I love that you have never commented on any of my posts except the waxing one...... I'm telling your hot-ass wifey!

    P.S. Will you and Linz please move here and live in our tiny spare bedroom with the twin sized bed. Please.

  3. Just some bloke, def not RollsyJune 29, 2010 at 7:14 AM

    I am there godammitt!