Killing for Two, Please.

My man and I had a date night on Saturday. We went to Happy Hour on the other side of the island - where it's all touristy and we feel like we are on vacation - Super Fun! Then we went to our friends new restaurant - was amazing! On the way home we stopped by this mall place so we could go to Whole Foods, but then we were distracted by the Fun Factory, that's inside of said mall.

In case you're outta the loop - the Fun Factory is a place where kids go to play games and the games spit out tickets that you can redeem for prizes. (Because who doesn't want to turn in their $20 worth of tickets for one pink plastic kazoo???? Totally not a rip-off!) The better you do at the game, the more tickets come spewing outta it.

Anywho - we decide to throw a couple of bucks in and have a bit of fun along side other people's children! First off - the basketball game where you compete with the other person to see who can make the most baskets. But Z is from New Zealand and basketball is not on the top of the sports list in Kiwi Land. Basically, he sucks at it. (Sorry babe, but you do!)

I, on the other hand, can not do this! (This is really him, too!)

I get 22 tickets from the b-ball game, Z gets 4. Then we switch to the skeet ball game. I get like 15 tickets , Z gets 6.

Then he decides no more sporty games, we are going to play the "Shoot the Elk" video game. Ewe, I am not playing a game where I kill something. I DO NOT kill things, ever. ( I cry at road kill, remember?)

(Please keep in mind, I grew up in Montana! A lot of people like to kill things, er I mean, hunt. That's fine, I'm (trying) not to judge but I personally think it's gross. Especially when they cheat and use those elk whistles; the big beautiful elk thinks the sound is coming from a hot horny cow - but it ain't - it's coming from a hunter who wants to slather you with A-1 and BBQ your ass up!!! It's not fair!! It would be like putting thirsty frat boys in a big field and having a keg in the middle of it - and when they saw it and start running for it, red keg cups in hand, you shoot at them! NOT COOL!!!!!)

Whoa, I went off on a tangent...... sorry. Please don't comment me on the fun facts of hunting and how winter kills more animals than hunters and population control and blah, blah, blah. Hunting is way cooler than lazily buying your meat for your family at the store! I get it - I don't want a part of it - but I get it!!

Back to the "Shooting the Elk" game. So, I played it, knowing I would suck at it and Z would feel better about winning. (I have to remember to let him feel like a big man sometimes but my competitiveness gets the better of me!) But I take one for the team and play the nasty-ass kill innocent animals game.

Also keep in mind I have never held a gun before either. Apparently you have to "pump" the fake gun after every shot - and this fake gun weighed a ton, so I'm sure a real gun is even more, but my arms and wrist hurt so bad; but again, I digress........... point is I beat his ass at the killing game too.

Wait - wha??????

Yeah - I shot those cartoon elk like I was Al f-ing Pacino at the end of Scarface....along with pheasants and other assorted cute animals.

I'm like Annie Frickin' Oakley!!!

But with a wayyyyyyy cuter dress!

I was excited to beat Z because I am a selfish and bratty wife, but my karma came later that night. I had nightmares that I kept on killing things and I did not want to be. I woke up sweaty and searching for my dog......

So no more killing games or pink plastic kazoos for this girl for awhile! I'm gonna hang up my gun and hug a tree.